Thanks

I love Thanksgiving. I love being with my family and all the stuff that comes with it (except the drama of course). I'm content to watch the parade, cook, and chill with the family. It's the best!

Today, as I did some prep for putting up my Christmas decorations, I turned on the Christmas music. It set the tone for the day. I cooked, my wonderful hubby cleaned, and then we had some awesome family time playing Star Wars Monopoly.

Everyone always start to think about what they are thankful for this time of year, and I am no different. Don't get me wrong, I recognize and thank God for His blessings year round, but it seems that we take a closer look at what we have to be thankful for come November. On Tuesday I did something different for my devotion with my Middle School/High School class. I asked each student to give 1 or 2 things they were thankful for. I started off and my two things were:

1. My family. They are wonderful people that I love dearly. With the passing of my grandfather in September, I'm even more thankful for the family I have. We are crazy and can be more than a little drama filled, but they are mine and I love them.
2. God's Gift of Salvation. Without it I know I wouldn't have anything I do now. I wouldn't have my husband or my children. I don't know where I would be in my life, but I know it probably wouldn't be anywhere good. I have to thank God for His hand of protection during all the crazy things I pulled in my teenage years. I also have to thank my mom for making me go to church twice a month, and "ratting" me out to my youth pastor. His matter of fact statement about the state of my life led me Jesus, and I haven't looked back. Thank you Randy!! Also thanks to God's gift I know where my grandfather is spending eternity and I can't wait to see him again to get his unique perspective on Heaven.

If you haven't thought about what you are thankful for, stop and do so. It doesn't matter what is going on in our lives, we are alive and live in the greatest country in the world. That's more than enough to be thankful for!

We Never Know

We found out yesterday that another Master's Commission Program was in an accident yesterday. This morning I found out that 2 of the team members have died and 6 more are in critical condition. Their van hit a patch of black ice and rolled several times. Most of the team was ejected from the van.

This is so hard to hear, because I think back to our team's accident back in February coming back from Texas (read the full account here.) While my heart is truly saddened by what has happened and the road of recovery and grieving this team and their families will have to go through, I can't help but marvel at God and His plans. What was to keep us from going off that bridge into freezing water? What was to keep us from rolling a couple of times as we careened up the bridge? Nothing but the hand of God. No one in the back of the van had on their seat belts, but we all had minor bumps and bruises. Carlo and another student had on theirs on and suffered minor injuries because of their airbags deploying.

Lord, thank you for your grace and mercy. Thank you for your hand of protection. I don't understand why You have chosen to act as You have, but I know that through this You will receive the glory and the praise. I know Your ways are higher than mine & trust You to shelter the 13 members of RMMC in Your hand.

I'm Just Plain Tired

of people and their passive/aggressive nonsense.

This last week I've really been evaluating my life and come to see there are some things about me I don't like. I've been praying about these issues and asked God to really help me to change these things and move forward in my relationship with Him.

Lord help me to love like you!

Enough is enough

I am absolutely tired of people saying that people are racists or "haters" if they have any criticism at all of President Obama!! It is ridiculous, that people who live in this country can't have an opinion. I thought that was what the 1st Amendment was for? I mean sure, some people are ignorant and racist, or don't know doodly-squat, but so what, they live in this country, so they have the right to say what they like. My grandfather, mother, father, brother, husband, and countless other family members have served in our Armed Forces to insure that everyone has right to state their opinion. Just because I don't agree with you or what you believe doesn't make me an evil person. If that were the case I could say that most people of color that I know who blindly and doggedly support our president are guilty of being prejudiced as well. To take the view that I am a racist or "hater" because I want to know why the man won an award for doing nothing, or speaking out against policy changes he wants to make that are morally and biblically wrong, is not a bad thing. It makes me an individual and an American citizen who is exercising my rights as a citizen by speaking my mind. You are allowed to do the same thing. I may think a person is an idiot or a moron because of some of the views they have, but I don't call them that or make a blanket statement that all people who feel differently than me are stupid, or racist, or bigots, or anything else. Please respect me and the countless other people who don't like what our president stands for NOT the color of his skin.

Rant over, I now return you to your regularly scheduled life.

Rejoice

I just posted a blog talking about my broken-heartedness at my friends' loss of their child and my loss of twin girls 6 years ago. That was a really depressing kind of post, but now to finish this saga.

Through the comfort of my family, friends, and the Lord I recovered. Because of the stuff that happened with my live the doctors said I should probably not try to have kids again. I'd come really close to dying and there was a possibility of it happening again with worse results. I spent a month having my liver function checked weekly. Praise God I only suffered very minor damage to my liver and even better at one of my last visits to the specialist I was seeing, he told me that I should be able to have kids again, I would just have to have my liver function monitored very closely the further along I got in my pregnancy!!

Knowing my husband and his protectiveness, I figured we probably wouldn't try to have more kids. You see, Tony our oldest child is a miracle. My water broke at 20 weeks when I was pregnant with him. If you know about babies, you know that the first they are able to live outside the womb is at 24 weeks. In the hospital we were given 2 choices: induce labor now (I was already starting to contract) and know nothing would be done to save the baby (sounded like an abortion to us) or have a 48-hour course of antibiotics to help with any infections and then hope to make it to 24 weeks if I went into labor. We naturally went with option B. I was told that if the baby did survive he would probably be mentally and physically disabled because of the exposure to infection and things. We didn't have a very good outlook from the professionals. Well, I'll tell you I carried that boy to 41 weeks and then the doctors decided to induce me because my amniotic fluid levels were starting to drop again!! Carlo Antonio Serrano II was born on September 17, 1999 at 3:33am. He weighed in at 8lbs 1oz and was 19.5 inches long. There were no physical problems with him and every test they preformed on him after birth came back with nothing but perfect results!! He will be 10 years old in 12 days and you would never know things were so precarious before he was born. Talking to him is like talking to someone 3-4 years older. To see him is to see his father.

Carlo returned from Iraq in February of 2004. After some discussion we decided that when the time was right, we would try to have another baby. We started attending church right after his block leave in March. One Sunday night in April a woman came to me and asked if she could talk to me. She had a word from God. My precious Lord wanted me to know that very soon He was going to give me the desire of my heart and with it there would be no pain, no heartache, only joy and happiness. My mind immediately went to so many things, but once I stopped and really examined my heart I knew what my deepest desire was. 2 weeks later I found out I was pregnant! When I talked to the woman and told her, she asked me if I wanted to know that baby's name. She said to me, "David. His name is David." Thanks to Tony, his middle name became Elijah. Of course my doctor was very cautious during my pregnancy checking my liver functions and even inducing me at 37 weeks just to be safe. After 20 hours of labor, David Elijah Serrano was born on January 28, 2005 at 6:59am. He weighed in a 7lbs 8oz and was 21.5 inches long! He was just as perfect as his big brother. Now almost 5 years later, to see him is to see a personality just full of love, and humor, and mischief. He is smart as a whip and precocious to boot. He is our promise.

You tell me there is no God or if there is one He doesn't care. If so, then explain the beauty of my oldest son and the odds he has beaten. Explain that I have life and health. Explain the wonder of my youngest son who surprises me everyday with what he says and does. I tell you there is a God and He loves us and cares for us and He wants good for us. We may not understand all that He does, but if we trust in Him and remember that His ways are not our ways, and that He has a plan and purpose for us, the things He can and will do in, through, and for us defy all logic!

Broken-Hearted

Right now, I'm broken-hearted. I just found out that dear friends of mine found out their 6-month old son died in-utero. Yesterday they were having their first blood-glucose check done and the doctor couldn't find a heartbeat on the baby. They treated my friend's cervix and she passed the baby sometime last night. These words sound so cold and clinical, but I think this is the only way I can get them out without breaking down completely.

I'm broken-hearted not only for what has happened but because on March 17, 2003 I went through the same thing. I was 36 weeks pregnant with twin girls. I'd been sick for a couple of weeks, but that morning I started throwing up and when I went to the doctor they couldn't find a heartbeat with the little microphone thingy, and when they did an ultrasound, there was no life. Talk about devastated. Carlo had just left for Iraq and the first words he hears when he calls to tell me he's arrived safely in Kuwait were that I'd lost the girls. It was a hard time. Come to find out, I had this crazy thing start to happen with my liver. Long to short, my liver was shutting down and so my body acted to save me.

I can remember being mad at God and telling Him so. For so long I had wanted to have twins because I thought they were wonderful, and I was finally going to see a dream realized. I couldn't understand how God could let me carry them so far. My girls were identical, and at the weights that single babies usually weigh at the same age. I was all set to carry to 40 weeks and deliver naturally. In one of my many trips to L&D the week before for stress tests, my sister asked why they wouldn't just keep me and let me have the girls, and the doctor told her it was because we were ok, and if I did he'd have to cut me and that isn't what he wanted to do of he didn't have to.

Carlo was only home for 21 days emergency leave, but I think that was all he could have handled. We were able to have a memorial service for our beautiful girls, Chloe Suzanne & Alexis Pearl before he left. I'll never forget something my pastor told us in the days leading up to the service. He talked with us quite candidly about his and his wife's inability to have kids of their own and the multiple miscarriages they'd had before finally adopting. He told us that there was one portion of Scripture that brought them comfort: "See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven." Matthew 18:10. He explained to us how they took comfort in knowing that each of those children were in Heaven right now, and by reading that verse we knew that they had an angel with them. They believed that those precious children, and all children like them once they arrived in Heaven met with an angel and that angel looked after them. Took them to see the Father and the Son. Those angles told these children of the families that loved them on earth and told them all about those families, so as we are here on earth waiting for that glorious day when we arrive in Heaven and are reunited with those we love, they are waiting for the day when we get to Heaven and they can see the people they've heard so much about. This definitely comforted me, and has helped me in times that were rough going.

I don't know if I'll be able to talk to my friends today or tomorrow or next week, but I do know that when I do, I'll truly empathize with them in their pain, but I fully believe that God will use me to bring a measure of comfort to them, that the Holy Spirit will direct my words. I can vividly remember those days 6 years ago, but right now my pain and my tears are for my dear friends who are experiencing the same thing. Lord send your Holy Spirit to be the comfort that they need. Give them the love and peace their hearts are crying out for now!!

It Had to Happen Sometime

So we had our first trip to the E.R. because someone was hurt and not sick in the middle of the night. This morning, Tony fell in the kitchen and hurt his knee. It was swollen enough and he was in enough pain, that we took him to the E.R. versus going to his PCP so that X-Rays could be done without making numerous trips across town.

Thankfully the X-Ray showed nothing was broken. The doctor however did think there was something wrong with Tony's knee. As of right now my boy is in the game room with an immobilizer brace on his knee, and he's getting around with the help of crutches. I partially dislocated my knee when I was 11, so I know how he's feeling right now. Again, I'm thankful this is only going to last a few weeks and not longer.

The crazy thing is Tony fell in a really awkward position. Usually when a person's foot slips, it slips forward and the person falls backwards, but Tony's foot slipped back causing him to fall on his knee and then fall backwards with his lower leg trapped underneath him. This caused the sprain in his knee and not a tear.

Tony was a trooper in the E.R. and did a great job answering the doctor's questions clearly and concisely. I couldn't have been prouder, although I would rather have not been in the situation at all. To be honest, if I had to think about a trip to the E.R. for this reason, I would have figured it would be with my little daredevil, David. I'm just so glad that Tony wasn't hurt more than he is and I know that he'll be up and around again in no time. Carlo has been a great nurse/orderly since we've been home. He fixed lunch and has been helping Tony in and out of bed when he's had to go to the restroom and stuff.

Thank you Lord for a good report, a loving and caring husband/father, & a good attitude from the patient!!

Quiet Days

Today has been a day of nothing. Tony had a friend stay over last night, so I made the den my refuge. Carlo filled in for Charlie, our youth pastor, while he was at NFAF in Orlando, so it was the 3 boys and me last night. I figured I could be a much nicer mom if I was as far away as I could get from the noise of three active and rambunctious boys. My theory worked well. I did some school work, watched some Eureka and had a pretty good night. I was shocked at how early the boys were up this morning, but they stayed pretty quiet until everyone was up. I decided to continue with my being a nice mom so I've spent the entire day down in the den. I don't usually do this because our den stays so cold, but I'm telling you that today it was chilly but I had a good day.

What did I do you ask? NOTHING! I spent today doing nothing. No laundry, no nothing. This doesn't mean I don't have laundry to do, it just means I didn't do it today. I've surfed the 'net a bit, played a couple of games on the computer, watched some "What Not to Wear," "Monk," and "Psych." It was awesome. I made sure the kids ate, but they did their own thing and were really good about doing that. There wasn't a lot of tattle-telling or fighting so that made it really nice. I think it was a great way to spend the last Saturday before school starts.

Vacation x2

Our weekend was great. We chilled at a hotel and did a whole lot of nothing. We swam, we ate, went to the state museum, swam some more, ate some more, slept, went to the mall & the movies, and capped it off with a great service on Sunday with some wonderful friends and partners in ministry at Life Assembly in Mt. Juliet. We had lunch with our friends Jonnie & Curry Wethington before heading home. Great weekend. The best part? We came home to 7 more days of vacation!!! We weren't done & getting back into the grind, we had one more week of it. Yesterday we chilled at home and then went to the library, I'm rediscovering Agatha Christie, (thank you God for kids who love to read). Today will probably be more of the chill at home action. It's looking like rain, so we'll see if the weather dampens any of our plans. I love knowing that there is nothing to do at the moment. I'm going to enjoy a cuppa tea.

Vacation

Today officially starts nine days of Serrano Family do-nothingness, or vacation as it's more commonly known. I'm excited. We're going to get away for a few days, and then hang out at home doing stuff. The boys are crazy excited, mainly because they don't know what we're doing. It should be great. We're planning to go to a great church in the area and then have lunch with some good friends. We're hoping to connect with another MC family for a day...lots of fun and memories to be made. I plan on taking lots of pictures over the next week and a half. Can't wait, can't wait.

Good Laughs

I found a website yesterday that cracked me up. My kids thought I was crazy and I cried I don't know how many times. What could this website be you ask? Well technically it's not a website, but a blog. Yep, I found a blog that had me rolling. The blog is called, Cake Wrecks, and is dedicated to high-lighting confectionery disasters people have paid for. I'm not talking about ugly cakes, but cakes that never should have left the paper design, cakes that the decorator (or wreckorator as they are called in the blog) should have known better than to attempt. Now this isn't just a snarky little blog that puts down the creations of others. People willing send in their creations with stories attached to them. The blog has also been nominated for and won quite a few awards. Jen, the blogger, does her best to keep the blog as family friendly as possible, so comments full of profanity are deleted. She doesn't accept lewd or pornographic pictures, but if there are any cakes of a questionable nature she is always quick to let people know before the picture is displayed. So, if you're looking for a good laugh at work, home, or wherever, try here. Just don't do it on Sundays because Jen showcases cakes that are sublime and in no way considered a Cake Wreck.

To check out the blog, click here.

Working out & working through

I didn't work out yesterday, and let me tell you, I felt like a complete bum for not doing so. Sunday night was a long one and I didn't get to bed til after 1am, so I slept in. I don't like working out when the kids are up because it's so distracting, so I thought I would work out last night. Well, David starting running a fever around 5:30 or 6:00, so I spent the night snuggling with him and a workout never happened. I got up this morning though, and I went at it. I rode the elliptical for 20 minutes, did an ab workout, lifted a little bit, and then rode the elliptical again. Needless to say, I'm tired, but in a good way.

Last night I went to the store to pick up some Suda-Fed, because we're all being plagued by our allergies. When I got home, David was curled up in a chair with Carlo. He stayed there for a few minutes and then came and got in my lap. The first thing I noticed was that he was hot. I grabbed the thermometer and sure enough, his temp was 102.2. He fell asleep in my lap for about an hour and the Carlo carried him upstairs. When I checked his temp again it was 101.2. By 10pm he was down to 100.3. The beauty of all this was that the only medicine he'd taken was Suda-Fed. I didn't have any Tylenol or Motrin in the house so I just let him sleep and prayed, and waited to see what would happen. That's what was done in days before all the drugs we have, right? Well, his little body fought and his fever broke, and now he's good as new. Thank you Lord for touching David's body and restoring him as he slept!

Complacency = Death

I had a conversation with my mom about self-motivation yesterday. I was telling her how I've wanted to start working out again and get back into some sense of shape, but have lacked the motivation. While waiting for students to show up for summer school today I thought about lack of vision and complacency. I realized that my lack of motivation was really my being complacent. I know I wasn't content with my weight & body shape, so why wasn't I motivated to work-out? Lack of vision! I couldn't see 2 weeks down the road when riding the elliptical would get easier or 2 months later when I'd start to see some definition in my arms and notice that my clothes were fitting looser. Once I started seeing those things, I realized that I could work-out every morning and right now I'm motivated to do so. Lord help me keep my motivation!

We need vision in our lives. Why work to graduate high school if you don't see yourself going on to college? Just drop out at 16. Why graduate from college if you don't see yourself moving onto a career and impacting the world in someway? Just quit high school at 16. Why read your Bible, pray, tell people about Jesus, take the time to disciple someone if you aren't anxiously waiting for Him to come back and call us home to glory? Quit doing all these things and let yourself and countless others die and go to Hell. This last one sounds extreme doesn't it? In my opinion no more so than the first two. While the first 2 seem a little far-fetched, when you think about it, that's what lack of vision does. When we allow ourselves to get complacent we lose vision. When we lose vision we quit moving forward. We stand still and stagnate. When something becomes stagnant (like water) it can become poisonous and we all know what poisonous things do to us. They = death. Are you moving forward?

Tis the Season

As I move into the 2nd half of July and 2009 (can you believe that?) I also move into an extensive birthday season with my extended family. From the end of July until mid-Feb there are at least 2 birthdays a month with a break until May. So let's run trough the list shall we?

July: 7th - My sister Dani, 31st - My niece Arielle

August: 13th - My niece Aubree will be 1!! 17th - My sis-in-law Steph will turn 21

September (otherwise known as "The Motherload"): 8th - Me & my Aunt Dorothy, 12th - my sister Carol, 17th - Tony (he'll be 10!!), 24th - Carlo & I celebrate 11 years of marriage, 27th - my bro-in-law Eddie, 30th - my niece Alyssa Johnson

October: 5th - Carlo (he'll be 30, give him a hard time about it, please), 12th - my nephew Jalen (Ashlei still owes me $5 for winning the pool on the day he would be born)

November: 4th - my niece Ariana, 12th - my grandmother, 14th(?) - my niece Erynn, 27th - my mother-in-law

December: 9th - my sis-in-law Sylvia, 31st - my bro Kenny

January: 28th - David will be 5!!

February: 14th - my mom (her b-day & Valentine's Day are two separate occasions), 15th - my nephew Aaron

So what does this say about my family? My brothers and sisters love vowels a little too much, that's what!!

Truly Random Thoughts

This is my first ever list-post of truly random thoughts I've had or been having:

• Have you ever noticed that if big-rig truckers have any kind of sticker or support something on their rigs they are like "It's not a choice, it's a child." or "Freedom isn't Free." or "These colors don't run?" If they outwardly show support for something it usually has a kind of God & Country type theme to it. Next time you're on the road, see how many you can find.
• Today Tony leaves for camp. Next summer he'll start going to Youth Group.
• Don't tell anyone, but when I think about the above, I feel old.
• Started working out today. I did a personal best on the elliptical plus some abs and light weights for toning on my arms.
• Having an iPod when I work out helps so much.

That's all for now...I think.

Father's Day

I know I'm not a dad, but I have a dad, and I'm married to a dad. I think that qualifies me to say a little something on the subject.

This year I was able to surprise my husband in the gifts he got. That hasn't really happened in years. He always seems to guess or he knows before-hand. I was able to give my husband an iPhone for Father's Day. If you know us, we've wanted iPhones for awhile now, and if you've talked to me at all in the last couple of weeks, you know I was supposed to get mine first. Well, I got it, but then I gave it to Carlo. I was really adamant and a bit selfish when I got my MacBook, that it was mine and I wasn't giving it to Carlo, even though he really could have used it. We both are in need of new phones & I was due for an upgrade. We got a sweet deal we couldn't resist and all in all ended up paying like $5 for an iPhone. Well, I gave my iPhone to Carlo for Father's Day. I have to say it felt great to do so. Thanks to a good friend I'll be getting one for myself in a few weeks.

Tonight in service, our Youth Pastor, Charlie, preached a message entitled, "Dad, If You Only Knew." He basically talked to dads about how important it was for them to love their kids and to tell their kids they love them. He spoke to those without fathers reminding them they had a Heavenly Father who loves them more than they can ever know. This really got me thinking about the man I call Dad. While he may not have helped to make me, he's always treated me like he has. If you know any of my history you know things were jacked up in a few areas. If you don't know, I'll be happy to share about what God has done in my life. I like to think that God has given me a second chance with an earthly father. My biological dad was a good dad when he was connected. There were times when he was available and I felt like a Daddy's Girl, but after my parents' divorce, he let drugs and alcohol take control of his life and he became a nonentity in the lives of my sisters and I. Our stepdad really stepped up. He's never been one to show lots of emotion (hard in a house with 4 females), but I knew, even when I was doing my best to not show it, that he cared. When I stole his car and wrecked it, my mom was at the end of her rope and wanted to let the police arrest me. The man who owned the car and had no legal relationship with me told her, "No, there's something going on and having her arrested won't help her. We're going to sit down and talk and figure out what's up so we can help her." This was coming from a man who didn't have a relationship with the Lord and would have been justified in pressing charges. I call Alvis Johnson "Dad," because he's been nothing but to me. In the darkest of times and the happiest he's been there. God may not have given him to me first for a dad, but my second chance has been wonderful. I'm proud to say he's my dad, and I'm proud to have him pour into my sons' lives. If you ask, I'll tell you, "He's my dad & I love him!"

This is the end my friend...

Carlo has been blogging about this already, but it's my turn since it's weighing on mind. There are only 5 days left officially in the 2008/2009 year of Master's Commission Clarksville. My first year with Master's full-time is almost over! It has been a wonderful year. I can honestly say that I have woken up every day of the last nine months and been happy/excited to go to "the office." I haven't had that in a long time. That joy for teaching died an early death in me last year (one of the things that prompted my move to Master's full-time). I am going to miss every last one of our students. I know that 2 will be back, and one isn't going anywhere, but that doesn't make it any easier. I've still got a little spark of oh I don't know, call it hope, optimism, whatever, that the other one will decide they want to come back as well. As far as a leadership team, it would be great, not only for Master's but for Next Level as well. I know that God has everything in control, and He knows what he's doing. I've just got to let Him do what He does, and know that everything & everybody will be okay in the end.

Below is a picture I took a couple of days ago and played with in iPhoto. Carlo calls it the "prison picture." I call it just plain funny!

Motivation

I need to get motivated. Not about anything major, just the 4 classes I have left in my Certified Minister level of courses with Berean School of the Bible. I know the classes won't be difficult, I'm not scared of the work, I'm just not motivated. I'm not even concerned with passing the classes (I got a 100, and a 96 in my last 2 classes), I just have no drive to finish. I know that once Master's is over for the year, I'll pick things back up because I don't have anything else to keep me distracted, but right now I don't care. The thing that bugs me about this is that I should. I love being in school, and I love what I'm learning. I don't want to be the slacker I am right now only finishing the work because if I don't I'm going to lose the money I paid for the classes, or because I don't have anything better to do. I want to knock these classes out of the way because I have a desire to do so. I know I need to be done in time to start the application/testing/ & interview process for credentialing in the fall and I will.

Lord help me to light a fire under my bum and get this done!!

I Hate Spring...Well, Sort Of

I love the flowers, and the sunshine. I love to hear the birds sing (if it's after 6:30 am) and think about flying kites and stuff. But I absolutely hate all the allergens that spring brings. The icky yellow covering of pollen means itchy eyes, sneezing, and a runny nose. The grass that gets cut, the old blooms that fly off the trees mean that I have to deal with sinuses that bother me enough the rest of the year. What's worse my poor boys are plagued by the same things. I feel absolutely horrible pumping them full of meds, but without the Claritin they would be much worse.

Today is a rainy day in Clarksville. The National Weather Service is calling for rain all day today and tomorrow. I'm so happy about that because it means that I won't have to deal with the Bartlett Pear trees raining their blossoms down on me. I wonder if there is a way to have spring without the pollen?

Show Me Your Way

This morning my loving husband tasked me with coming up with a human video concept for the service we are doing Wednesday night. The song we are using is from Frontline's newest album, "Soundtrack To Life." The song is, "Show Me Your Way." I have fallen in love with Frontline & Matt & Nina Poole's songs. They make me take a look at my life and where I am. There was nothing new with this song. The lyrics are quite simple:

"Show me your way. Whatever it takes to change. I see what's new, looking at how far I've come. Here is my life, Don't let me forget the way. Here is my life, I can't afford to stay the same. Keep my soul, Keep my spirit, Keep my life, Moving forward."

In coming up with the concept for the video, I started looking back at where God has brought me from. If not for God in my life, I have absolutely no idea where I would be right now. There is a 90% chance I'd be dead due to stupid mistakes. I could be a single mother, an alcoholic, homeless, so many things, but God is so good and so merciful. In His love for me and the plans He has for my life, He has protected me from things in my life, that when I look back I can't believe how stupid I was.

Does this mean I'm dwelling on these things? NO!!!!! I am thanking God for where I'm going. Where I've been has prepared me for now and later, but I'm not there anymore and I'm not going back to it. Thank you Lord for keeping me moving forward. Help me to continue doing so with purpose...YOURS!!

I Don't Even Know What to Title This

This has been an incredible weekend. We spent Thursday & Friday in Ft. Worth, Texas, at the MCIN 2009 Conference, titled "Woven." The idea comes from Ecclesiastes 4:12, which states, "... three cord strand is not easily broken." Besides spending a weekend worshipping and praying MC style, our program was fully affiliated Thursday night. Last spring when Carlo was ordained was a big moment for me. My husband had done something big. While I know I was player in that with my support and love for him, our affiliation ceremony moved me in a different way, because this was something that had to do with the ministry we do together. I felt a part of what we were doing like nothing ever before, because this is dream we share together, a heartbeat that is one. The sword ceremony that is done each year is unique, and presented as a gift to each group of affiliated programs. The biggest thing for me was the connectedness we've gotten with MCIN. thanks to our attending SRMC last year and Director's Retreat this summer, Carlo and I have made connections with some wonderful people in Master's Commission. As we passed through the sword tunnel Thursday, we were hugged and cheered by members of the MCIN board and other directors. This touched me, because this really didn't happen to the directors that went ahead of us through the tunnel, and also because this was something that was personal, not just a pat, "Oh you're doing this thing and it's my responsibility to do this." These were people who are friends on Facebook and MySpace. As the ceremony was finishing up and Eric Hunsberger, the president of Master's Commission International Network, was pulling the sword from our Bible, he looked us both in the eye and said, "Welcome to the family." Now understand that Thursday night meant we were officially part of the MCIN family. We are now fully affiliated, but there has not been a time since Carlo and I submitted our application to pioneer a Master's Commission that we haven't felt a part of the MCIN family. I guess I would call Thursday's ceremony our official introduction to the rest of the family.

Having said all this, I would like to share how extended our "family" is. At about 9:30 last night our team was in a single-car accident on our way back into Clarksville. We were doing about 40 mph when we hit some ice on a bridge that careened us into the left concrete wall of the bridge, spun us in a half-circle and then smashed us into the right side wall. Both air-bags were deployed. My husband was driving and Aaron, one of our second-year students was in the front seat. We all got out of the van, and Aaron was helped out because he'd passed out Obviously and ambulance was called for him, but at about 1:45 this morning he was released from the hospital with a minor burn from the airbag on his arm, and a whole lot of soreness everywhere else. My husband's left arm is a little sore and he's got a burn on his hand from the airbag. Jamie and Sean, two of our students walked away completely untouched. Laura, our first-year was later taken to the hospital because she was dizzy and her neck was really hurting. She was released at 2:00 after her x-ray and CT Scan came back clean. I was the last to be released at 3:3o this morning, but everything came back great for me. While Carlo was in the ambulance with Aaron, he got a hold of a MC mentor friend of ours, Derek Sullivan, and told him what was going on. Immediately about 300 Master's Commission and college age students started praying for us. Eric Hunsberger and Shawn Marcell were notified and started praying. Not too long after, Eric called Carlo and conferenced in Lloyd Ziegler, the founder of Master's Commission and pastor of the Relevant Church in Dallas, Texas. Our friends here in Clarksville were praying and helped us out in a big way as well. I love the connection of family. Carlo and I are blessed to have "blood" family that will do anything for us, but we have an extended family in the body of Christ who would do the same.

We are all firmly convinced that it is only the hand of God that kept us from plunging into icy waters and possibly losing our lives, if not being in much worse shape than we are in right now. I can only marvel at how God works miracle after miracle in my life and in the lives of others. A member of the MC family recently suffered a heart-attack. This is a 20-something mother of two who was in great shape. Now, she's hooked up to portable machines that keep an eye on her heart. She put it best, that when the chips are down and life is not going the way you think it is, can you really trust and believe that God is in control? Can you really depend on Him to see you through? Live each moment to the fullest and praise God through good and bad.

I know this is really random and jumbled, but it's 4:25 am, you've just read what I've been through, and I think the pain killer the doctor gave me is kicking in. I may revise this later, but probably not. For one, I won't ever feel like, and for two, you can see exactly where I'm at in this situation. thank you god for your hand of protection on my life yet again. Thank you for keeping us all safe and allowing us the testimony of walking away from this accident. I can rest safe knowing that I am resting in the shelter of your hand. Help me to remember this night always and to remember what you've done for me. Thank you for David, Tammy, & Josh Gaylord, Jayebea Pua, Nelson & Jacque Rivas, Judi Fuller, Gloribel Ramirez, and Leo & Pearl Lucas, these are spiritual mothers, father, sisters & brothers you've blessed me with. I wouldn't have made it through the last 48 hours without their love and support. Thank you for Pastor Lloyd, Eric, Derek, and the rest of our MCIN family. Their covering of prayer allowed me to keep a cool head and get through this night. Finally, thank you for knowing me and sending me exactly what I need each and every time I need you. I may not know what I need, but you do and you always see me through. All I can do is "Shout My Praise!!"

Prayer & Fasting

     Today starts a whole lot of stuff for me.  For the next two weeks, MCC will be manning the phone at CBN's Nashville Prayer Counseling Center during their Winter Telethon.  I'm so excited about this.  We had the opportunity to go up for some training last Tuesday, and then take some actual calls   It was awesome to be able to pour the Word of God into lives, and believe with them for their needs.  Unfortunately, one of the students got a suicide call.  I imagine it was a little scary, but the actual staff of CBN has a little more training than we do to handle these and there are protocols set in place to handle these calls.  I can't wait to be used by God to help even more people in the next two weeks.  What better way to spend your day than to pray (almost literally without ceasing) and just lead people through the Word.

     There's actually, just one other thing I could think of that might be better, fasting.  And don't you know, that's exactly what MCC is doing for the next 21 days?  We are fasting: all meat, all grain, all dairy, eggs, junkfood & sweets, and sodas & all artificial drinks.  I can't wait!  I know this will be an incredible opportunity to hear from the Lord.  I am personally expecting to hear from Him on some personal things I've been praying about, especially direction wise on things.  I have tons of ideas, but I don't want to make any moves, without hearing from God first.  So, pray for us please, and if you call the 700 club to make a donation or request prayer anytime in the next 2 weeks, who knows, you might talk to me or someone else from MCC!!