Motivation

I need to get motivated. Not about anything major, just the 4 classes I have left in my Certified Minister level of courses with Berean School of the Bible. I know the classes won't be difficult, I'm not scared of the work, I'm just not motivated. I'm not even concerned with passing the classes (I got a 100, and a 96 in my last 2 classes), I just have no drive to finish. I know that once Master's is over for the year, I'll pick things back up because I don't have anything else to keep me distracted, but right now I don't care. The thing that bugs me about this is that I should. I love being in school, and I love what I'm learning. I don't want to be the slacker I am right now only finishing the work because if I don't I'm going to lose the money I paid for the classes, or because I don't have anything better to do. I want to knock these classes out of the way because I have a desire to do so. I know I need to be done in time to start the application/testing/ & interview process for credentialing in the fall and I will.

Lord help me to light a fire under my bum and get this done!!

I Hate Spring...Well, Sort Of

I love the flowers, and the sunshine. I love to hear the birds sing (if it's after 6:30 am) and think about flying kites and stuff. But I absolutely hate all the allergens that spring brings. The icky yellow covering of pollen means itchy eyes, sneezing, and a runny nose. The grass that gets cut, the old blooms that fly off the trees mean that I have to deal with sinuses that bother me enough the rest of the year. What's worse my poor boys are plagued by the same things. I feel absolutely horrible pumping them full of meds, but without the Claritin they would be much worse.

Today is a rainy day in Clarksville. The National Weather Service is calling for rain all day today and tomorrow. I'm so happy about that because it means that I won't have to deal with the Bartlett Pear trees raining their blossoms down on me. I wonder if there is a way to have spring without the pollen?

Show Me Your Way

This morning my loving husband tasked me with coming up with a human video concept for the service we are doing Wednesday night. The song we are using is from Frontline's newest album, "Soundtrack To Life." The song is, "Show Me Your Way." I have fallen in love with Frontline & Matt & Nina Poole's songs. They make me take a look at my life and where I am. There was nothing new with this song. The lyrics are quite simple:

"Show me your way. Whatever it takes to change. I see what's new, looking at how far I've come. Here is my life, Don't let me forget the way. Here is my life, I can't afford to stay the same. Keep my soul, Keep my spirit, Keep my life, Moving forward."

In coming up with the concept for the video, I started looking back at where God has brought me from. If not for God in my life, I have absolutely no idea where I would be right now. There is a 90% chance I'd be dead due to stupid mistakes. I could be a single mother, an alcoholic, homeless, so many things, but God is so good and so merciful. In His love for me and the plans He has for my life, He has protected me from things in my life, that when I look back I can't believe how stupid I was.

Does this mean I'm dwelling on these things? NO!!!!! I am thanking God for where I'm going. Where I've been has prepared me for now and later, but I'm not there anymore and I'm not going back to it. Thank you Lord for keeping me moving forward. Help me to continue doing so with purpose...YOURS!!

I Don't Even Know What to Title This

This has been an incredible weekend. We spent Thursday & Friday in Ft. Worth, Texas, at the MCIN 2009 Conference, titled "Woven." The idea comes from Ecclesiastes 4:12, which states, "... three cord strand is not easily broken." Besides spending a weekend worshipping and praying MC style, our program was fully affiliated Thursday night. Last spring when Carlo was ordained was a big moment for me. My husband had done something big. While I know I was player in that with my support and love for him, our affiliation ceremony moved me in a different way, because this was something that had to do with the ministry we do together. I felt a part of what we were doing like nothing ever before, because this is dream we share together, a heartbeat that is one. The sword ceremony that is done each year is unique, and presented as a gift to each group of affiliated programs. The biggest thing for me was the connectedness we've gotten with MCIN. thanks to our attending SRMC last year and Director's Retreat this summer, Carlo and I have made connections with some wonderful people in Master's Commission. As we passed through the sword tunnel Thursday, we were hugged and cheered by members of the MCIN board and other directors. This touched me, because this really didn't happen to the directors that went ahead of us through the tunnel, and also because this was something that was personal, not just a pat, "Oh you're doing this thing and it's my responsibility to do this." These were people who are friends on Facebook and MySpace. As the ceremony was finishing up and Eric Hunsberger, the president of Master's Commission International Network, was pulling the sword from our Bible, he looked us both in the eye and said, "Welcome to the family." Now understand that Thursday night meant we were officially part of the MCIN family. We are now fully affiliated, but there has not been a time since Carlo and I submitted our application to pioneer a Master's Commission that we haven't felt a part of the MCIN family. I guess I would call Thursday's ceremony our official introduction to the rest of the family.

Having said all this, I would like to share how extended our "family" is. At about 9:30 last night our team was in a single-car accident on our way back into Clarksville. We were doing about 40 mph when we hit some ice on a bridge that careened us into the left concrete wall of the bridge, spun us in a half-circle and then smashed us into the right side wall. Both air-bags were deployed. My husband was driving and Aaron, one of our second-year students was in the front seat. We all got out of the van, and Aaron was helped out because he'd passed out Obviously and ambulance was called for him, but at about 1:45 this morning he was released from the hospital with a minor burn from the airbag on his arm, and a whole lot of soreness everywhere else. My husband's left arm is a little sore and he's got a burn on his hand from the airbag. Jamie and Sean, two of our students walked away completely untouched. Laura, our first-year was later taken to the hospital because she was dizzy and her neck was really hurting. She was released at 2:00 after her x-ray and CT Scan came back clean. I was the last to be released at 3:3o this morning, but everything came back great for me. While Carlo was in the ambulance with Aaron, he got a hold of a MC mentor friend of ours, Derek Sullivan, and told him what was going on. Immediately about 300 Master's Commission and college age students started praying for us. Eric Hunsberger and Shawn Marcell were notified and started praying. Not too long after, Eric called Carlo and conferenced in Lloyd Ziegler, the founder of Master's Commission and pastor of the Relevant Church in Dallas, Texas. Our friends here in Clarksville were praying and helped us out in a big way as well. I love the connection of family. Carlo and I are blessed to have "blood" family that will do anything for us, but we have an extended family in the body of Christ who would do the same.

We are all firmly convinced that it is only the hand of God that kept us from plunging into icy waters and possibly losing our lives, if not being in much worse shape than we are in right now. I can only marvel at how God works miracle after miracle in my life and in the lives of others. A member of the MC family recently suffered a heart-attack. This is a 20-something mother of two who was in great shape. Now, she's hooked up to portable machines that keep an eye on her heart. She put it best, that when the chips are down and life is not going the way you think it is, can you really trust and believe that God is in control? Can you really depend on Him to see you through? Live each moment to the fullest and praise God through good and bad.

I know this is really random and jumbled, but it's 4:25 am, you've just read what I've been through, and I think the pain killer the doctor gave me is kicking in. I may revise this later, but probably not. For one, I won't ever feel like, and for two, you can see exactly where I'm at in this situation. thank you god for your hand of protection on my life yet again. Thank you for keeping us all safe and allowing us the testimony of walking away from this accident. I can rest safe knowing that I am resting in the shelter of your hand. Help me to remember this night always and to remember what you've done for me. Thank you for David, Tammy, & Josh Gaylord, Jayebea Pua, Nelson & Jacque Rivas, Judi Fuller, Gloribel Ramirez, and Leo & Pearl Lucas, these are spiritual mothers, father, sisters & brothers you've blessed me with. I wouldn't have made it through the last 48 hours without their love and support. Thank you for Pastor Lloyd, Eric, Derek, and the rest of our MCIN family. Their covering of prayer allowed me to keep a cool head and get through this night. Finally, thank you for knowing me and sending me exactly what I need each and every time I need you. I may not know what I need, but you do and you always see me through. All I can do is "Shout My Praise!!"

Prayer & Fasting

     Today starts a whole lot of stuff for me.  For the next two weeks, MCC will be manning the phone at CBN's Nashville Prayer Counseling Center during their Winter Telethon.  I'm so excited about this.  We had the opportunity to go up for some training last Tuesday, and then take some actual calls   It was awesome to be able to pour the Word of God into lives, and believe with them for their needs.  Unfortunately, one of the students got a suicide call.  I imagine it was a little scary, but the actual staff of CBN has a little more training than we do to handle these and there are protocols set in place to handle these calls.  I can't wait to be used by God to help even more people in the next two weeks.  What better way to spend your day than to pray (almost literally without ceasing) and just lead people through the Word.

     There's actually, just one other thing I could think of that might be better, fasting.  And don't you know, that's exactly what MCC is doing for the next 21 days?  We are fasting: all meat, all grain, all dairy, eggs, junkfood & sweets, and sodas & all artificial drinks.  I can't wait!  I know this will be an incredible opportunity to hear from the Lord.  I am personally expecting to hear from Him on some personal things I've been praying about, especially direction wise on things.  I have tons of ideas, but I don't want to make any moves, without hearing from God first.  So, pray for us please, and if you call the 700 club to make a donation or request prayer anytime in the next 2 weeks, who knows, you might talk to me or someone else from MCC!!

Bye-bye 2008

It's here, the end of 2008. I always wonder where the time has gone as I look back on a new year. This year is no different. It seems like just yesterday I was at the watch-night concert at the church ringing in 2008. Now, according to my phone, I'll be saying hello to a new year in 14 hours 877 min 52640 seconds.

As I look back at 2008 I'm amazed at what's gone on:

* My David started pre-school & finally finished potty-training

* Carlo & I celebrated 10 years of marriage

* Our first year of MCC finished and I came to the program full-time for our 2nd year

* We moved into our new home, a blessing we knew, but didn't realize how much of one until July when

* My mother & brother-in-law moved in with us

There are so many other things that have happened, but these are the things that stand out for me. I hope to add lots more to the list for 2009.

Ice...Dangit!

We have a stupid ice day. The kids are happy. I'm sure our MCC students are happy at getting to sleep in today and moving closer to their break. I know all the school age people in the city are over-joyed. I'm not! I really wanted clear weather today. I wanted to go to work (hello, money is always nice to make), I hate the inevitable news of accidents and downed power lines and stuff. I also worried about one of our students who is from Florida and has no experience in the ice and snow. He picks up a student who lives up 2 very steep hills and he drives a little Chevy Cobalt. I'm glad now that I don't have that worry, but I was looking forward to today.

I think teenagers are a little crazy and whole lot of stupid (if you are a teenager and you know me, you know I love you, but it doesn't change the way I feel). I'm subbing for the middle/high school class at our church school this week, and I'm telling you, my feelings are being reinforced. Thank You God you did not call Carlo & I to Youth Ministry. Thanks for giving us the burden for discipleship and young adults. Mark Rutland has said the only difference between a high school senior and a college freshman is a 6-week break. This is very true, but at least when our 1st year students act crazy, we can tell them to stop being dumb and grow-up and not worry about a momma who is going to be mad at us. We get to deal with the real world and real world issues...there's nothing better.